The Lady's Letter-Writer: Letter V

Letter V

(Another version of Letter I)

Reply to an absurdly romantic Letter

Cincinnati, April 25, 18--

Sir: I do not know whether your epistle was intended in a jest, in which case its absurdity might have been excused on the ground of its plagiarisms.  But if you can really write in earnest to any woman whom you profess to esteem, I must express my humble opinion that such is not the proper course by which to excite a reciprocal feeling.  

Regretting that you should have adopted a tone of writing, which neither modern usage not common sense at any time would sanction,

                                                              I remain, 

                                                                         Sir,

                                                     Your obedient servant.

To Mr. ...