Why the heck do they not make functioning can openers anymore?
A few months ago, my can opener died, after years of use.
Got what looked like a good replacement at Big Lots.
Paid about $8.
The can opener worked maybe three times, before refusing to work anymore.
To replace that piece of junk, I went to Walmart - which I NEVER do, but because we ain't got no Bed Bath & Beyond no more, there aren't too many choices around here.
I spent twice what I paid for the previous piece of junk on my next non-functional piece of junk, i.e. a Farberware 'Soft Grips Safety Can Opener.'
This can opener keeps you from getting cut from sharp metal in a very ingenious way, to wit, it simply doesn't work, so you'll NEVER get cut when you use it.
I'm actually I'm exaggerating. It did manage to open two cans before deciding it preferred not to open cans anymore.
So now it has morphed from being a can opener to being a resident of my kitchen trash can.
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Now, let's discuss how stupid I am.
I intended to keep the receipt, in case this can opener was another loser, at least I could get a refund.Alas, the Idiot Queen misplaced the receipt.
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So I could either go back to Walmart, and see what else they have, or I could drive 45 minutes to Millville/Vineland and see what Target, or Kohl's or one of thems has.
Our - the hubbage and I - original plan was to shlep up to the Italian Market in South Philly, and hit Fante's, i.e. Fante's Kitchen Shop, which is the greatest home kitchen supply store in the entire known world. Surely they have fully functional can openers.
However, it's well over an hour to get there, plus parking in that area is not that easy to find.
I'm considering going the Amazon route, even though I hate Amazon even more than I hate Walmart. But at least if that can opener doesn't work, it wouldn't be too hard to return it.
Or
I could simply stop buying canned foods. Which wouldn't be a terrible decision, but when I make my maahvelous vegan chili, part of the recipe is tomato paste,and I have yet to find a canned tomato paste with a pull top can.
Ooh!
You want the recipe to my maahvelous vegan chili?
Here it is:
Ingredients:
one 15 oz can of kidney beans
one 15 oz can of black beans
one large jalapeno pepper.
one large green pepper.
one large tomato
a small bag of frozen corn (I'm not sure the weight of these, but I know you can distinguish a small bag from a medium size bag.)
one 12 oz can of tomato paste
one 6 oz can of tomato paste
two tbsp chili powder
two tbsp garlic powder
three tbsp oregano. Note that everything tastes better with oregano on it.
First thing I do is chop the peppers and the tomato.
These, and the rest of the ingredients are thrown in the pot willy-nilly.
Wanna see my pot ?
My thrift store- bought Le Creuset dutch oven. Thrift store price $6. New price: $299.Back to the recipe:
Before you put the ingredients in the pot, have about 3/4" of water in the pot.
Then throw everything in the pot, give it a good stir, put the lid on the pot, and set the stove temperature to 300 or so. Leave it on the stove for 45 minutes-one hour, and occasionally go back to stir some more. Stirring mixes it all up good, plus it minimizes the possibility of getting burnt maahvelous vegan chili stuck to the bottom of the pot. (That also explains the 3/4" of water.)
This feeds probably four or five or six people.
I actually have no idea, but the hubbage and I usually have two bowls each, then it goes in the fridge, and we have two reheated bowls each the next night, and maybe 1.5 bowls each the following night.
Lemme know how you like this recipe, if you decide to try it !!
